Life Hacks: Remembering Memorial Day

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  • I want to be just famous enough to judge food challenges.
  • Cheetos could have chosen any shape for their snack food product yet they went with “Medium sized turd”.
  • I tried to win a Strongman Competition by saying that a true man of strength doesn’t need to prove his superiority to others but no, you actually have to lift heavy stuff.
  • The only way I’m getting a 300 in bowling is if they start weighing people before renting shoes.
  • No YOU’RE in your room making a s’mores over a candle!
  • If I were friends with Adam Sandler, I’d have been in at least 20 movies by now.
  • I just “Ugly Yawned” in front of some strangers.
  • It should be socially acceptable to throw a breath mint into someone’s mouth.
  • No one can tell you’re crying if you’re standing in the rain. And if there’s thunder, feel free to blast a few farts.

 

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Was the “breath mint” one a direct result of the one above it?

    Like

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