Game of Thrones Spin-off Showcase

on
Results May Varys, coming this fall to NBC (image via HBO)
Results May Varys, coming this fall to NBC (image via HBO)

You know HBO is thinking about how they can maximize the profits from their hit show Game of Thrones. There’s been talk of a prequel series, which would probably be great. But, after seeing the success of AMC’s Better Call Saul, I can’t help but think of the spinoff possibilities.

 

Ramsay the Reek

Follow the adventures of Ramsay Bolton and his loyal servant Reek as they travel throughout the world seeking action, adventure, and people to slaughter. He’s a psychopathic butcher! He’s a former prince who’s been reduced to a sniveling pile of fecal matter! What kind of hijinks will they get into next?

 

Stockholm Sansa

What happens when a teenage girl gets thrown from bad situation to bad situation? She retreats into her own world, where everything is perfect. Knights slay dragons, dwarves live far away from proper ladies in caves, and Sansa gets to be a happy queen in a bright dress. See the world through Sansa’s traumatized, deluded eyes in this 10 minute animated series.

 

Hot Pie’s Waking Kitchen Nightmare

A cooking show hosted by Westeros’ resident chubby kid, Hot Pie. Learn the tricks to baking bread in the shapes of things! Watch as Hot Pie has to bake King Tommen’s birthday cake under the watchful, judgemental eye of Cersei Lannister! And what will Hot Pie do when he has to prepare a full meal for Walder Frey’s twentieth grandson’s wedding? Yikes!

 

Bronn Mitzvah

Everyone’s favorite Westerosi sellsword is back and better than ever. Bronn takes on the perilous role of late night talk show host. By late night talk show host, I mean that he has funny conversations with various people before stabbing them in the throat.

 

Westerosé

3 cups in. (image via HBO)
3 cups in. (image via HBO)

Cersei Lannister gets drunk and berates a select group of guests for two hours or until she passes out.

 

Night of the Dolorous Edd

He’s been a key member of the Night’s Watch support staff over the years, but now it’s time for Dolorous Edd to take the spotlight. The Watch has tasked Edd with a special mission to retrieve a rare artifact beyond the Wall. The problem? He’s got to do it with the help of a sexy Wildling lady and a giant. Will Dolorous Edd be able to resist the Call of the Wildling? Will Shitbrick the Strong smash him into a hundred pieces?

 

Wheel of R’hllor

A Melisandre hosted game show in which one lucky contestant will be sacrificed to the Lord of Light.

 

Results May Varys

At last, the most popular Eunuch in history gets his own spotlight! Can a man make it in this world without his manhood? Varys sure can. The Spider himself takes on the seedy underbelly of Westeros and Essos as he tries to claw his way back to the top. Featuring Tyrion Lannister, with a special appearance by the Faceless Men Trio!

 

The Pointy End

Arya Stark knows how to handle a blade, but how does she handle life? When Arya meets a cute boy on the run, she learns to really live for the first time.

Until he tries to rob her in the middle of the night and Arya stabs him in the gut.

 

Dothraki Dance Party

Ain't no party like a Dothraki party (image via HBO)
Ain’t no party like a Dothraki party (image via HBO)

The Dothraki are known for many things: their worship of horses, pillaging skills, warrior braids and bells. But did you know that they’re incredible dancers? Well you will now! From sundown to sunrise, the Dothraki Dance Party don’t stop! Let host Khal Funko show you how to party like a horse lord. The party (and body count) don’t stop!

 

Davos Dearest

The Onion Knight returns home in this multi-camera family sitcom, and he’s brought company! Can a family adjust to a King’s daughter with greyscale and her creepy fool, Patchface? And what will Davos do when he has to prepare a four course dinner for Stannis?

 

Everyone Loves Ser Pounce

45 minutes of people petting Ser Pounce.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s