Mad Men Final Half Season Predictions

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Photo via AMC and NY Daily News
Photo via AMC and NY Daily News

Mad Men is coming to an end. It’s one of the best shows ever. It will be missed. Series creator Matthew Weiner keeps everything under lock and key (and even more locks), so no one ever knows what’s going to happen in an upcoming season. So let’s make some predictions!

 

Pete Campbell gets an awesome fake hairpiece. It is torn off by a seagull while he is on the beach.

Roger Sterling dies after getting drunk and creating his own rocket out of a gas grill, a fish bowl, and an umbrella.

Peggy Olson becomes a New York real estate mogul, ruling the city with an iron fist.

Harry Crane eats enough White Castle to transform himself into Jabba the Hutt.

Joan sends her mother into space and we never hear from her again.

Sally Draper becomes a perfectly normal, well-adjusted young woman to everyone’s surprise.

A grizzled, old Bobby Draper finds himself trapped on the real Planet of the Apes.

Sal returns and is immediately shot by the ghost of Mrs. Blankenship with Pete Campbell’s gun.

Betty Francis murders her husband and runs for public office in his place. She is imprisoned when she stops giving a fuck and comes on stage and attempts to shoot her opponent with a shotgun.

Trudy bakes the world’s biggest cake. Pete ruins it when he tries skydiving for the first time.

Stan’s beard consumes an entire New York city block and is destroyed with a controlled fire.

Eyepatch-clad Ken Cosgrove leaves for his own spinoff. He meets up with the young misogynistic version of himself and the middle ideal version. The three of them travel through alternate dimensions, helping people while saving the universe.

Bob Benson is revealed to actually be a Soviet agent, but he’s just so chipper and friendly that no one minds.

Megan murders Sharon Tate, pulls off her mask and reveals that she was Charles Manson all along.

Ginsberg gets out of the mental ward and has a really nice sandwich.

Don Draper runs into the future D.B. Cooper, tells him to take a trip. He then winks at the camera and floats away, carried by a magic briefcase.

 

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