Investigating the Robert Durst Confessional Burp

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Robert Durst Jinx Burp
“I really should not have eaten a dozen hot dogs before that interview.” – Robert Durst

The Jinx is still being buzzed about even though it ended two weeks ago. The news stream on Robert Durst has been non-stop, which really speaks to how much of a compelling weirdo he is. His interviews with Andrew Jarecki were captivating. His beady rat eyes beamed right through the camera and right into your soul.

There were a number of questions raised during The Jinx and since its final episode.The real question though, is what was going on with Durst’s confessional burp? I thought for a moment that he was about to have a massive heart attack. His face turned beat red. I feared that Durst’s head may actually explode, spraying Jarecki with ooze like a Nickelodeon game show. Alas, it was not to be. Instead, Durst let out a confessional belch. He might as well have burped out the words, “I did, in fact, kill those 3 people maliciously.”

What could cause such a vile belly buster? Sources say that Durst scarfed down a dozen hot dogs before his final Jinx interview. “That guy was eating them hot dog sandwiches like he was in that Nathan’s contest with the Japanese fella,” stated one reliable anonymous street vendor. “It was the grossest thing I ever saw,” said another man, covered in fake blood and vomit.

Other witnesses disagree. A Kansas couple in “I Love NY” t-shirts said they saw Durst eat a small child in one gulp before the interview. “That man dislodged his jaw and swallowed that child whole. He truly is a monster.” A woman jogging by Durst claims that he simply had too much coffee. “Durst was drinking from two large coffee cups at once through a krazy straw. It was intense.”

Whatever caused the burp, it was pretty rank. Various Jinx crew members described the smell as “vile” and reminiscent of “an overturned port-a-potty”.

"I've made a huge mistake."
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
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