We come here today to mourn the passing of our dear friend Rhino.
Rhino was a righteous dude, always willing to lend you his board when you forgot yours, or giving up the last slice of pizza to those with greater munchies than he.
When Rhino died searching for his lost sunglasses lens on those train tracks, we lost someone special. You remember when he pulled that trick on Mr. Kosmopolis back in 08? Classic.
There was the time when Rhino won the Orange Invitational while legally blind. I never knew a laser show could hurt so much. But victory, it never tasted so sweet.
How about when Rhino, Clanger, and Mr. Magistrate leaped off of the top of Hornito’s moving Jeep onto the top of another moving Jeep and rode that all the way back to the beach? Killer.
Rhino leaves behind his two dachshunds, a full collection of the Dead on vinyl, and a brick of weed. His final wish was that we be given a Darth Vader funeral pyre with that brick, and that we all use the fumes to party on the beach at night.
We’ll miss you Rhino.