Hello friends, and welcome back to March Madness. It’s a thrilling time for fans of hoops and basketballing. You deserve to maximize your enjoyment from the NCAA Tournament. I am a master of maximizing pleasure, at least according to everything except for my wife hahaha that is humor. Here are tips for getting the most from the Madness of March.
Drink openly at work
It’s not your fault that the NCAA schedules the best part of the Tourney during prime work hours. It’s your right as an American to get drunk and watch unpaid athletes battle the death. Just bring your bottle of choice in and have a good time. If your boss objects, tell him to go look at the god damn Constitution.
Ignore all of the stuff about college athletes not getting paid
Who cares? They’re more gifted than you’ll ever be. They got that basketball scholarship that you’ll never get. Even though, the whole injury was just Ronnie’s fault for smoking too much reefer and crashing the tractor into the old Oak on Bill Evans’ farm. I hate you Ronnie.
Don’t bet on the games
Just fill out a bracket for the fun of it like the President of the United States 😀
Always root for the favored team
Underdog victories are called upsets for a reason. Who wants to watch no names shoot threes and act humble? No thank you sirs.
Watch the games exclusively on your smartphone
I find that when I watch the game on a cellular telephone that I derive more pleasure and pay much more attention. It’s how God wants us to watch collegiate athletics.