Listen people, take some of this advice, so that when eons into the future, when large brained aliens are studying the remains of our long dead race, you don’t make us look stupid!
-It’s hard to train a dog without sounding like a dominatrix.
– If your lover gives you a sexy coupon as a gift, try to redeem it with their best friend or sibling.
– Have you asked yourself if you’re fierce enough today?
– There is a correlation as to how stupid you are, compared to how well you can take a picture of yourself.
– You may not ever use that condom that’s chilling in your wallet but at least you’ll never have to worry about not being able to finish a corn dog at the food court.
– I think the best part about being a Pterodactyl was the ability to poop on other dinosaurs.