So now that it’s almost a week into 2015 and you’ve already given up on your New Year’s Resolutions, time to try and learn some new coping skills.
– Just because it says “All purpose flour” doesn’t mean it can be used as a sexual lubricant.
– Be careful when signaling a friend at a food court to buy extra fries that you don’t accidentally propose marriage to a deaf person.
– Teenage boys: isn’t it about time you introduced that tube sock to your parents?
– You need to ask yourself, “Am I paying too much for car insurance?” Also you may be eating too much.
– I think a fun first date would be to take someone to the zoo. While there excitedly point into every cage you see and shout, “Look at that funny looking dog!”
– Even though Prego spaghetti sauce is intended for pregnant women, I just can’t help myself. It’s delicious!