Welcome back to the Media Dump, where I post a bunch of stuff all at once because I’m too busy lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills while I write 1,000 word movie reviews five days too late. This week we’ve got a bunch of comic book movie nonsense and some TV news. There won’t be any mention of a certain giant ass, because we already covered you on that front earlier today. Or do I mean back? Heyyyooooooooo. Sorry, I’m going to punch myself in the face for that one.
The Fantastic Four reboot has been amazingly under the radar for a major comic book film. There was some momentary nerd rage over the casting of Michael B. Jordan as the traditionally white Johnny Storm, but that rightfully died down. Jordan’s a terrific, charming actor who is a good fit for the role. Josh Trank’s Fantastic Four is due to be released next summer and there hasn’t really been much of a preview for it.
The FF’s greatest villain is inarguably Dr. Doom, an Eastern European meglomaniac who wears armor, a green cloak, lives in a castle and shouts, “RICHAAAAARDS!” at least twice a day. Toby Kebbell will be portraying Doom in the FF’s next outing and mentioned what the character is going to be like in a recent interview with Collider. Yes, he’s going to be anti-social blogger Victor Domashev and his screen name is going to be DOOM. Oof.
It doesn’t sound horrible merely because it’s not true to the comics version of the character. It sounds horrible because it sounds horrible. An anti-social blogger, whoa oh ohhhhhh! It sounds like a desperate attempt to be relevant and appeal to “young people these days”. The Fantastic Four at its best was big and bombastic. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby never shied away from making FF over the top. An FF movie should be bold. It should a grand adventure through the unknown. Dr. Doom should be an angry sorcerer monarch in a goddamn castle. The Thing is a cigar smoking rock monster, what’s so silly about Doom compared to that?
Ash Vs. Evil Dead
Hoooollllllllyyyyy shit, according to Variety, Starz has ordered an Evil Dead TV series! With Bruce Campbell! And a pilot episode directed by Sam Raimi! I’m just going to type everything with exclamation points from now on!
5 hours of watching Ash take on a Deadite plague? I might actually have to bypass my opposition to things that replace ‘S’ with ‘Z’ and order Starz. Ash Vs. Evil Dead should be on our TV screens in 2015.
Michelle MacLaren Directing Wonder Woman?
Ah, finally, some legitimately exciting news about a DC movie. Per The Hollywood Reporter, Michelle MacLaren is the top choice to direct the Wonder Woman movie. Not familiar with MacLaren? She only directed some of the best episodes of Breaking Bad, as well as Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. Remember when Rick ripped that guy’s throat out last season? That was a classic MacLaren shot.
People were hoping that Warner Bros would pick a female director for their big female superhero movie. MacLaren deserves a shot at the big time. This seems like a perfect match.
Christoph Waltz in the Next Bond Movie?
Christoph Waltz, often referred to as “The Funny Nazi” from Inglorious Basterds (as I’m sure everyone yearns to be called in life), has apparently signed on for the next James Bond movie according to Baz Bamigboye at the Daily Mail. Bamigboye went on to write that the role is in one of those lovely grey areas, which is where someone like Waltz does great work. He’s an amazing actor who does a great job conveying both menace and friendliness. I’d love to see him utilized in, well, everything.
I don’t love this video as much as most of the internet seems to, but it’s decent enough that it’s worth sharing. I also really, really hate Gotham’s winking nods to the city’s future villains. I like cheese as much as the next lactose tolerant guy, but come on already.
Join us next week on Untied when I chronicle the experience of attending a dog show and Marcello accidentally sets himself on fire while attempting to make a funny Instagram video.