Eight Movies That Would Have Been Better With Biz Markie


We are not much for click bait style posts around these parts but, when we learned that Biz Markie played a role in Sharknado 2: The Second One, we could not help but wonder what other movies would have been better if they featured The Biz. Her is our list.


8. Toy Story 3


Tim Allen did an admirable job as Buzz Lightyear in the lovable family romp but what would be better than Biz Markie as Biz Lightyear?


7. Gravity


I said, “How do you like space?” 
She said, “I was very amused”


6. Twilight


Look, I’m going to be honest. I don’t know shit about this movie but the sight of Biz Markie in a powdered wig being lusted after by two sickly-looking, makeup-wearing dudes is just so, so perfect.


5. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace


Nobody liked Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar Biz would have made The Phantom Menace not only bearable but incredibly entertaining.


4. Inception


Oh baby yooooouuuu, you’re stuck in a dream but you say it’s inception. You say it’s inception.


3. Fight Club


In death, a member of project mayhem has a name, his name is Marcel Theo Hall. His name is… Biz Markie.


2. Harry Potter


So I took blah-blah’s word for it at this time
I thought just havin’ a friend couldn’t be no crime


1. Top Gun


When Goose died, we shed a tear. If it was The Biz, we might have been scarred for life.

Hat tip to Adam Schwartzberg for the inspiration.


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