Just Stop It, DirecTV

Come on baby, bite my wire

Seriously, stop it. You’re creeping everyone out with your new commercials.

I don’t know what ad agency convinced you that it would be a good idea to make a commercial where a guy is married to a life-sized marionette and they have a kid together but you should fire them immediately. It’s creepy as all hell.

Let’s ignore the fact that the message behind the series of commercials is barely relevant, considering the fact that it’s 2014 and nobody really has an issue with ugly, dangling wires. The reality is that you’re basically insinuating that this guy banged a wooden doll and, somehow, they reproduced and nobody finds it the least bit suspicious.

This needs to end now. Please.

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